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What's a cold, evil candle called? - The wicked wick of the north!

HALLOWEEN


What do goblins mail home while on vacation? - Ghostcards!

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Why wasn't the vampire working? - He was on his coffin break!

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Get Horror Books for Download.
Welcome to Audible! They are the leading provider of downloadable audio, offering a vast selection of audiobooks, newspapers, magazines, radio shows and a whole lot more. It's easy: download and listen at your computer, in your car, as you walk, or ANYWHERE you choose! Save up to 80% compared with audiobooks on tape or CD.
Try the audio book below, or choose from over 16,000 titles!
Classic Ghost and Horror Stories Classic Ghost and Horror Stories

Lock the doors, turn on the lights, and, please, do not listen to this chilling collection alone! Classic Ghost and Horror Stories is an anthology that includes ten masters of supernatural fiction who take perverse pleasure in evoking hair-raising horrors. The collection features "The Damned Thing," "An Inhabitant of Carcosa," "A Vine on a House," and "Eyes of the Panther" by Ambrose Bierce, "The Striding Place" and "Death and the Woman" by Gertrude Atherton, "Haunted" by Isabella Banks, "Hurst of Hurstcote" by E. Nesbit, "The Monkey's Paw" by W.W. Jacobs, "The Yellow Wall-Paper" by Charlotte Perkins Gillman, "The Old Nurse's Tale" by Elizabeth Gaskell, "The Phantom Coach" by Amelia B. Edwards, "The Yellow Sign" by Robert W. Chambers, and "Wind in the Rose-Bush" by Mary E. Wilkins. 6 Hours of Horror Tales!



What's a ghoul's favorite breakfast cereal? - Rice Creepies!

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Why did the vampire need mouthwash? - She had bat breath!

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What's a vampire's favorite feast? - Fangsgiving Day dinner!

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What do little trees say on Halloween? - Twig or treat!

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What's fast food to a vampire? - A guy with really high blood pressure!

Countdown Creations offers a special line of International Space Station flight suits. These authentic flight suits are made of heavyweight 100%-cotton twill and are machine washable for many years of astronaut training. They have styles and sizes ranging from 6 months old through adult extra-large for you to outfit your entire crew!
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Why don't vamps like Red Cross? - They can't stand the competition!

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What kind of toothpaste do vampires buy? - Ultra-Bite.

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What is a vampire's least favorite meal? - Stake !!

More Halloween Humor

What does a monster wear when it rains? - His ghoul-oshes.

How did the monster predict his future? - With a horror-scope.

What did the monster do when he lost his hand? - He went to a second hand store.

Why wouldn't the skeleton cross the road? - Because he didn't have any guts.

What are a spook's two favorite rides at the fair? - The roller ghoster and the merry ghoul round.

What happened to the vampire who tried to gain weight by eating more? - It didn't work... it was all in vein.

What four things do monsters enjoy eating on Halloween? - Ghoulash and I Scream with booberry pie and ghoul-aid.

What two famous places did the monster visit while on his vacation? - The Vampire State Building and Count Rushmore.

What is in the red blood cells of monsters? - Hemogoblin !!!

What spook lives in the "hundred acre wood"? - Winnie the Boo

Where do ghosts keep their cars? - In a mirage.

What is the hardest thing to sell to a mummy? - Life Insurance.

How do you keep a skeleton from laughing? - Take away his funny bone!

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? - Neck tarines

Why didn't the wraith win at poker? - He didn't have a ghost of a chance.

What performers do vampires enjoy the most at the circus? - The jugulars

What do spooks call their Navy? - The ghost guard.

What do you call a mummy who eats cookies in bed? - A crumby mummy!

Why do Casper's phone bills tend to be so high each month? - He is always calling ghost-to-ghost.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance? - Because he had no body to take !

Thank You

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