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PETS - Page 1


A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, where do keep the wittle wabbits?"
And the shop keeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy black wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?"
She in turn puts her hand on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really gives a thit!"
That's Comedy! - The Net's #1 Joke eBook

Roller Skates

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,
'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'
The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!'
That's Comedy! - The Net's #1 Joke eBook

Cool dog supplies at

The Perfect Pet

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.
The owner says, "How about a dog?"
The man replies, "A dog? That's so ordinary! And a dog can't do everything!"
The owner says, "How about a cat?"
The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"
The owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it -- a centipede!" The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything. But, okay ... I'll try a centipede."
He gets the centipede home and says to it, "Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's immaculate. All the dishes and silverware have been washed, polished, dried and put away. The countertops have been cleaned. The appliances are sparkling. The floor has been waxed.
He's absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. Ten minutes later, no centipede. Twenty minutes later, no centipede. Thirty minutes later, no centipede.
The man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. Forty-five minutes later, still no centipede! The man can't imagine what happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Finally, he goes to the front door and opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside the door.
The man says, "Hey! I sent you 45 minutes ago to run down to the corner and get me a newspaper. What's the story?"
The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! Just putting on my shoes!"
That's Comedy! - The Net's #1 Joke eBook

Click for all your pet supplies!

  • What do you call a dog with no legs?
  • It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway
    That's Comedy! - The Net's #1 Joke eBook

    Singing Hill Pet Shampoo is made with Pure Emu Oil and essential oils. Your pet will have healthy, clean and conditioned hair. Emu Oil with lavender, patchouli, lemongrass and cedarwood essential oils improve skin conditions and naturally repel bugs. This shampoo is concentrated so a little goes a long way. A safe, healthy, people tested shampoo.
    When we make our Homemade Dog Cookies we use the best ingredients. They are the same cookies we make for our dog. Each batch is made with love and care to make sure you get the best product for your money. A Low Fat healthy treat.
    Handmade Cat Toys Give your cat the Purr-fect gift. Each Cat Toy is handmade and has catnip and a squeaker inside.


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