SPORTS - Boating - Best of The Web Boating Equipment Sites

TheTop10 - Health - Internet - Music - Shopping - Travel - WWW - How to be a Millionaire !

Click Here For The Best Deals on the Internet

SPORTS - BOATING

Boat Joke Two cargo ships collided head-on in the middle of the South Pacific. The cargo of the eastbound ship contained machine parts, hand tools and 135,000 gallons of red paint. The westbound ship was loaded with computer parts, electronic testers and 37,000 gallons of brown paint. Thanks to superior survival training, not a man or officer was lost, even though both ships split apart and sank to the bottom.

The question is, what happened to the survivors before their rescue three days later?

The answer: They were all "marooned!"

SHARK ATTACK! Sharks can be a dangerous threat to swimmers, divers and snorkelers.
A dive master was overheard giving a pre-dive briefing on the boat just before the divers hit the water.

"You know", he says - "Its very important that you're properly equipped as a diver before going down. -- and do you know what your most important protection is against Sharks? -- it's your Dive Knife. It's very important that you have a very sharp dive knife that is readily accessible in case you're confronted by a shark while in the water".

One of the divers looked up, wide eye-ed and a little nervous and asked,
"I heard that sharkskin is very tough - like sandpaper, and their teeth are razor sharp. How would I handle my dive knife to defend against such a formidable killer?

The dive master paused, picked his dive knife up in his hand and, with a serious, contemplative look, lightly stroked the flat sides of the blade.
"It's all in team work", he quietly responded. "You always dive close to your buddy, right? Well, -- when the shark gets close and looks like he's ready to attack, ..... you reach for your dive knife .... hold it out straight in front of you, then ...................................

... GRAB YOUR BUDDY - SLIT HIS THROAT - AND SWIM AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN !!! How many boaters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because the right size bulb isn't on board, the local marine-supply store doesn't carry that brand, and the mail-order house has them on back-order.
From Sail Magazine

frogg toggs, Waterproof, Windproof, Breathable, Featherweight, affordable - the ultimate in performance outerwear - at a price you have to see to believe. Perfect for Golfers, Fishermen, Hunters, Boaters, Hikers, Runners, or Anyone who likes to Play Outside, even in Bad Weather.

PARTING OF THE WATERS
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are bareboating in the Caribbean when they discover the cabin is filling with water and they are in imminent danger of sinking.
"Oh, Lord," says the priest, "if you would let us walk on water as you did your Son, we could make it to that island over there and be saved."
Then he steps off the stern of the boat and is drowned.

"Oh, Lord," says the rabbi, "if you would part the seas for us, as you once did for your chosen people, we could make it to that island over there and be saved."
Then he steps off the stern of the boat and is drowned.

"Oh, Lord," says the minister, "did you say to turn the handle on the seacock clockwise or counterclockwise?"
From Sail Magazine PEARLY GATES
After one particularly difficult passage, a famous cruising couple find themselves at the Pearly Gates, where their lines are taken by St. Peter himself.
"There doesn't seem to be much record of you, good or bad," he says. "so I'm going to let you decide for yourselves whether you go to heaven or hell.
First let me describe them for you. On the one hand, you could spend eternity in cramped quarters, your beds a few inches shorter than you are tall, your food and water always rationed, and a shower something you could only dream of."
"And what about hell?" the couple ask.
From Sail Magazine

Overton's : the ultimate source for boating and watersports needs. Click Here to Start Shopping!

Special : Save 10% on YOUR Order!

Please enter or verify that your promotional code "HOLTEN" is in the section of your online order form that asks for your promotional code and 10% will be deducted from your order of $150 or more. Your savings will be based on the merchandise total only, excluding shipping, handling, additional freight, and taxes. This offer cannot be combined with any other offers. Electronics excluded. No adjustments of previous purchases. Not valid for cash. Offer expires 01/31/03.

PIRATE LORE
I was in a local tavern in a time-hidden little coastal town. There sat a crusty old pirate enjoying a grog in the corner. I was curious about his peg leg, eye patch and hook for a hand so I pulled up a chair to share a few drinks.

Tell me sir, I said. How did you come by your wooden peg leg?

Welllll Maitey - he drawled. Me mates were havin a bit of fun and we were all drunk on deck one night. Before I knew it they threw me overboard to sober me up! As I swam back to the boat I seed a fin break the surface -- and before me mates could get me back onboard the shark had a piece of me leg!

Oh, I said. That must have been terrible.

AYE mate, it were!

Then tell me sir, how did you come by your hook?

Argghhh! he says. That were the time a squall line were blowin in from the North. I's a working the foredeck and bringing in the sheets. Just as me pulled the belayin pin, a big gust of wind come up and blowed out the tall sail. The problem were me hand were caught in the line as the sail blowed out. It ripped her clean off me arm!

Well, I replied. Sounds like you've had some hard times. So tell me, how did you come by your eye patch.

Well sonny, the old pirate went on, me was swabbin the deck one day when a frigate and lots of seagulls flewed over the masts. Me raised up me head to look and - SPLAT! - one of them birds pooped in me eye!

I paused for a second waiting for more of a story, then asked. But sir, I don't understand. How is it that a little bird poop would cause you to lose your eye!

ARRGGHH MAITEY!!! That were the first day me had me new hook!!

FUGAWI Marine Charting Software

Twins
There were these two twins Joe and John.
Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat.
It just so happened John's wife died the same day Joe's boat sank.

A few days later a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistaking Joe for John stated " I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel just terrible."

Joe, thinking she was talking about the boat said, "Hell no, fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing water. She had a bad crack in the back and pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyway. The damn fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the middle."

The old lady fainted.

Click Here for Boat and Nautical Books

Preacher
A traveling preacher finds himself caught in a tremendous rainstorm. Within a few hours, the motel he's staying in is flooded. As the water rises, the preacher climbs to the roof and starts praying.

Just then, a coast guard rescue party floats by in a rowboat. "Let's go, mister, into the boat." "I'll stay here," says the preacher. "The Lord will save me."

An hour later, a second boat reaches the motel. "Sir, you better get in. The water is still rising." "No thanks," says the preacher. "The Lord is my salvation."

Toward evening, the motel is almost completely under water, and the preacher is clinging to the satellite dish on the roof.

"Hey buddy, get in the boat! This is your last chance." "I'm all right," says the preacher, looking toward heaven. I KNOW the Lord will provide."

As the boat departs, the satellite dish is hit by lightning, and the preacher is killed. When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, he is furious.

"What happened?" he shouts. "I thought the Lord would provide!"

Within seconds, a thunderous reply is heard: "Hey! I sent three friggin boats!"

For over 30 years Sea Eagle has designed inflatable boats for fishing, motoring, yacht tending, rowing, canoeing and rafting. Rugged material, thoughtful design, and strict quality control make Sea Eagle inflatable boats tough enough to meet your demands, yet affordable enough to fit within your budget. Starting at $299.00, Sea Eagle Inflatable Boats let you go wherever your whim might take you. Secluded trout streams, mountain lakes and scenic bays are all within reach. Lightweight and easy to inflate, Sea Eagle boats can easily fit in any car trunk and are ready to go in minutes. Sea Eagle also offers great deals on outboard motors from Mercury and Minn Kota.

The Corporate Boat Race An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.

The Japanese team won by a mile.

Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.

Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.

After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it.

The next year the Japanese team won by two miles.

The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

Fund Raising
A hurricane blew across the Caribbean. It didn't take long for the expensive yacht to be swamped by high waves, sinking without a trace. There were only two survivors: the boat's owner Dr. Eskin and its steward Benny who managed to swim to the closest island.

After reaching the deserted strip of land, the steward was crying and very upset that they would never be found. The other man was quite calm, relaxing against a tree.

"Dr. Eskin, Dr. Eskin, how can you be so calm?" cried the Benny. "We're going to die on this lonely island. We'll never be discovered here."

"Sit down and listen to what I have to say, Benny," began the confident Dr. Eskin. "Five years ago I gave the United Way $500,000 and another $500,000 to the United Jewish Appeal. I donated the same amounts four years ago. And, three years ago, since I did very well in the stock market, I contributed $750,000 to each. Last year business was good, so the two charities each got a million dollars."

"So what?" shouted Benny.

"Well, it's time for their annual fund drives, and I know they're going to find me," smiled Dr. Eskin.

High Quality Inflatable Boats, Canoes & Kayaks available online- Click HERE

Marine Items From The Sovietski Collection: Marine Items from Russia, the USSR, and Eastern Europe!

Genuine "Desantnik" (Russian SEALs) old-fashioned, Copper Diving Helmet.

Soviet Ship's Clock

Typhoon Sub Clock

Soviet Captain's Chronometer

MASSIVE 20x110 "Big Eye" Ship's Binoculars, identical to those found on Russian Battleships!

Rubber Armored Binoculars, 10x30, Built Tough Like a Battleship!

Captain's Watch

East German Bosun's Whistle

Soviet Naval Flags - Straight off Decommissioned Soviet Command Warships & Subs! (Variety Available)

Naval Ensign's Boat Shirt

Donald Duck Sailor Cap

Genuine Leather-crowned Soviet Ushankas

Visit Sovietski Collection: For More Marine Items from Russia, the USSR, and Eastern Europe!

Binoculars - ITT Night Mariner GEN-3 Monocular w/c-mount lens (Camera Ready)

This camera-adaptable Generation 3 monocular is ideal for nighttime boating, safety, and sightseeing. It works as a handheld viewer and can be attached to a camcorder or 35 mm camera to record nighttime activity when you're out on the water.

Hot Boat

Hot Boat Magazine is the performance boater's bible and features tests, technical reviews, adventure travel, racing coverage, product critiques and boating tips.

Wooden Boat

Wooden Boat Magazine is written for wooden boat owners, builders, and designers. It provides readers with a dynamic editorial environment that combines emerging technologies with traditional methods of boat design, construction and repair.

Soundings

Soundings is the nation's Boating Newspaper and has been recognized as a top information source for serious powerboat and sailboat owners for over 35 years.

Lakeland Boating

Lakeland Boating Magazine is the magazine for Great Lakes Boaters. Coverage includes all five Great Lakes and major Inland Waterways. Each issue includes new product and regional updates, as well as boat tests and profiles of Great Lakes personalities.

Marine Items Descriptions
Genuine "Desantnik" (Russian SEALs) old-fashioned, copper diving helmet. - These old-fashioned copper "hard-hat" diving helmets were originally constructed for Russian Navy Special Forces, who required protection from the extraordinary pressure (up to 7 atmospheres) incurred on extreme-depth dives of 200'. We rescued a few from a Navy surplus warehouse in St. Petersburg. Most are in perfect/unissued condition and arrived coated in the original cosmoline grease, which protects the metal from tarnishing. We have hand-polished them and, in time, they'll develop a beautiful patina. Front and dual side windows with rubber gaskets and brass frames. Approximately 19" high and 44" in circumference. Weighs a massive 32 lbs. Three 1" diameter bolts connect the helmet to the 58" circumference neck/shoulder mounting platform. Quantities extremely limited.
Soviet Ship's clock - Be ye a landlubber or an ol' salt, this '50s-'60s-vintage ship's clock will put the "time" in your maritime d�cor. The genuine article - these saw action on Soviet Naval vessels during the height of the Cold War! The "overbuilt" 11-jewel mechanical movement is sealed inside a "bombproof," solid brass, chrome-plated housing. Luminous hands and indices. Serial numbered movement. Crack-resistant resin bezel. Notwithstanding minor wear on the chrome finish, these are in amazing shape, considering their age and service history. A whopping 7 lbs., 9" diameter (7" face), 3" deep. Wall mountable. Looks great in the galley, captain's quarters or in your office or rec room. The clock is ticking - we have very few!
"Typhoon" Sub clock - A few years back, Russia's Vostok Military Clock Factory produced these 8-day ship's clocks, like those found on the Soviet Navy's nuclear submarines and warships. Subsequently, economic hardships caused the Russian Navy to stop building subs and this factory to halt producing clocks. We cajoled them to make a few, just for us. The precision, 12-jewel mechanical movement is sealed in an aluminum housing to survive depths to 2,000' and depth charge concussions. Features Typhoon sub (made famous in The Hunt for Red October) breaking the water's surface, hammer and sickle and marine anchor, all surrounded by a polished brass-colored faceplate. Made in Russia and Typhoon, in Russian, on dial. A whopping 6� lbs., 8" diameter (5�" face), 3" deep. 9" wall-mounting plate, dual-purpose key and factory documents. Serial numbered. One-year warranty. Ideal for home or office. (Our top choice for that unique gift for special clients and tough-to-buy-for guys.)
Soviet Captain's Chronometer - These super-accurate, 56-hour chronometers are identical to those aboard Soviet and now Russian warships. Your choice of older units, straight off decommissioned ships (these are completely reconditioned, inside and out) or unissued chronometers (built from '95-'97 and complete with original factory test certificate). Each is a handcrafted engineering masterpiece. Swiss fuse� (chain-driven pulley) drive, 20 ruby-jewel, damascened, 24-karat gold-plated movement with real diamond endcap jewel, spring detent escapement, compensation balance and palladium helical spring (whew!). Movement sealed in solid brass housing with heavy beveled crystal cover (4�" diameter). Fully-gimbaled inside a three-tier carrying case with mahogany "piano" finish. Gold-plated hands. Serial-number, Cyrillic markings on dial. Inset second and 56-hour registers. Cover of inner case opens to display clock through glass-covered section, which also opens so you can wind or set clock. Inner case (7"x7"x7") rests in 10"x10"x10" velvet-lined outer case, with own leather carrying strap and velvet protective cover. English instructions. Modeled after famous chronometers from Germany's Wemp� (theirs are $15,800!) and America's Hamilton watch companies. Identical chronometer is featured in a leading catalog for $3,000! These are becoming increasingly difficult to obtain and our quantities are extremely limited. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.Also available, a few identical chronometers in natural, blond-finished wood cases.
MASSIVE 20x110 "Big Eye" Ship's Binoculars, identical to those found on Russian Battleships! - Built at the venerable (and top-secret) Kazan Military Optics Factory in Russia's Volga River region, use tooling and designs captured from the Germans at the end of WWII. Built to rigorous military specifications and extraordinary quality standards. They're designed to withstand the most extreme maritime weather and are ideal for mounting aboard your yacht, tuna boat or battleship. (They're perfect for catching the view outside your home or office, too!) Brand new with original factory documents (in custom steel storage case). Complete with yoke mount and adjustable shipboard pedestal mount. 20-power magnification with massive 110mm objective lenses. BAK-4 prisms, precision-ground, multi-coated optics and perfectly round exit pupils. Incredible optical quality, with extraordinary edge-to-edge image definition. Field of view is an amazing 5� (262' at 1,000 yards). Oversized, individually-focusing ocular lenses set at 45� angle for comfortable, ergonomic viewing. Swivels a full 360� horizontally and 105� vertically (built-in azimuth scale). Tested from -40�F to +122�F. Loaded with features like individually-focusing diopters, reticle scales with rangefinder, collapsible sunshades, flip-up rubber headrest and top peep-sight. Each unit is nitrogen filled to prevent fogging; internal desiccant gel will eliminate the first sign of moisture. Three-year warranty. We'll put these up against any giant binocs anywhere. (Virtually the same quality as German and American "Big Eyes" but their's have an extra digit in the price.) Your satisfaction guaranteed or your money back! For stability and safety, these should be permanently mounted (Mounting hardware included).
Rubber Armored Binoculars, 10x30, Binoculars built tough like a battleship! - These 7-power, mil-spec, rubber-armored field binoculars are identical to those issued to Soviet naval officers. Built tough (I know - a fishing buddy dropped mine in the bait tank on a tuna boat and they still perform flawlessly!). Multi-coated optics throughout, independent eye piece adjustability and oversized oculars. Classic porro-prism design, moisture/shock/dust-resistant. Hermetically-sealed. Field-tested from -59F to +122F and in up to 80% humidity! Extremely wide field of view (8.5 deg. or 456 ft. at 1,000 yds.). 30mm objective lenses let in lots of light, even at dawn and dusk when ducks/kelp paddies are the most difficult to see. Amazingly, no distortion, even out at the perimeter! Extended eye relief (22mm), so great for eyeglass wearers. Rubber lens covers and carrying strap included. 7�"x7"x2�". Under 2 lbs. Two-year warranty. Compare with German binocs costing hundreds more!
Captain's Watch - Weigh the anchor and hoist the main, the captain's watch says it's time to set sail. Front features a classic old-world sailing ship, in relief. Back features a nautical scene, with lighthouse, gull in flight and sailboats, in relief. Dial shows sailboat. 18-jewel mechanical movement. 2" diameter. Free 14" chain and Russian/English factory docs. 90-day warranty.
East German Bosun's Whistle - On a ship, the boatswain (aka "bosun") is responsible for the hull, rigging and anchors. When he blows his whistle, sailors jump! These whistles, constructed of nickel-plated brass, are easy to master and produce a distinctive sound. They have 101 uses - security, athletics, meetings or just keeping the troops in line - they'll put you in the captain's chair. A unique collectible and a great gift, too. Officer on deck!
Soviet Naval Flags - Straight off Decommissioned Soviet Command Warships & Subs! - Made from wool flag bunting. In pristine condition and exceedingly rare. The fleet commander's flag (A) has three stars; Chief of Naval Command Flag (B) has hammer and sickle emblem; Soviet search and rescue flag (C) has diver's helmet; the Deputy Minister of Defense's flag (D) displays the crest of the USSR; the Soviet flag (E) flies from the ship's bow; Soviet "jack" (F) features the hammer and sickle and red star. Year of issue and Russian markings on each. Rigged for use on your boat. Or, display in your home or office. These make great decorations for rec rooms/bars, too! Don't delay - we have very few.
Ensign's Boat Shirt - These Soviet ensign's boat shirts are identical to those worn by sailors on the Red October. A favorite of Spetznaz special forces and elite airborne troops, too! Shirts are tightly knit 100% cotton jersey designed to fit snugly and keep you warm at sea or on shore (if you want a looser fit, please order a larger size).
Donald Duck Sailor Cap - Sailor caps, dubbed "Donald Ducks," with Soviet insignia and rare Pacific Fleet ribbon.
Genuine Leather-crowned Soviet Ushankas - Keep warm and look cool in these genuine Soviet naval officer's ushankas. Produced during the '80s but in perfect, unissued condition. Complete with rare Soviet military insignia. Pull down earflaps or tie them on top of hat. Leather crown, faux fur, quilted lining.

Thank You

FREE - Download a truly timesaving tool: In seconds, place a search box right in your browser without taking any space from the browsing window. Use 7MetaSearch.com, proven by surveys to consistently find the most relevant sites faster. One-Click SiteDetails� gives you the address, phone number, traffic ranking, age, link popularity on any site you're viewing in your browser. Click the button below to learn more about 7FaSSt Search�

Home

boat accessories boat supplies boating accessories boating gear boating supplies nautical supplies nautical gear nautical accessories boat motors boat motor boatmotors boatmotor boat sales pontoon boat pontoon boats motorboat motorboats motor boat motor boats boat boats boating canoe canoes canoe sales kayaks kayak buy canoe canoe dealers bass boats canoeing canoing kayyaking tenders tender tendering raft rafts rafting fishing motoring yacht tending yacht tendering tending rowing mercury mercury boat motor mercury boat motors mercury outboards mercury outboard mercury outboard motor mercury outboard motors minn kota minn kota boat motor minn kota boat motors boat for sale boats for sale minn kota outboard minn kota outboards minn kota outboard motor minn kota outboard motors underwater videography seaviewer underwater video cameras seaviewer underwater video camera seaviewer sea viewer underwater video camera underwater video cameras underwater camera underwater cameras under water video camera under water video cameras under water camera under water cameras underwater video systems underwater video system under water video systems under water video system marine camera marine cameras sea eagle seaeagle fishingboats fishingboat fishing boats fishing boat inflatablefishingboats inflatablefishingboat inflatable fishing boats inflatable fishing boat inflatable canoe inflatable canoes inflatable boat inflatable boats foldable inflatable boat foldable inflatable boats foldable boat foldable boats yacht tender yacht tenders inflatable yacht tender inflatable yacht tenders inflatable kayak inflatable kayaks wenonah canoe wenonah canoes ultra-light canoe ultra-light canoes ultralight canoe ultralight canoes ultra light canoe ultra light canoes kevlar wenonah kevlar canoe kevlar canoes sea eagle inflatable boats sea eagle inflatable boat seaeagle inflatable boat seaeagle inflatable boats outboard motors outboard motor out board motors out board motor outboardmotor outboardmotors outboards outboard whitewater scuba diving swimming camping stearns stearns kayak stearns kayaks stearns inflatable kayak stearns inflatable kayaks stearns life vests stearns life vest life vests life vest waders wader mainstream fiesta mainstream fiesta kayak mainstream fiesta kayaks mainstream mainstream kayak mainstream kayaks watermark paddlesports watermark paddlesports kayak watermark paddlesports kayaks sevylor sevylor pontoons sevylor pontoon sevylor float tubes sevylor float tube sevylor floattube sevylor floattubes sevylor kayak sevylor kayaks sevylor raft sevylor rafts pontoons pontoon float tubes float tube floattube floattubes catamaran kayak catamaran kayaks whitewater kayak whitewater kayaks sea kayaking seakayaking sea kayaks seakayak seakayaks sea kayak nautical nautical books nautical book boat book boat books boating book boating books books on boating lightweight boat lightweight kayak lightweight canoe lightweight raft lightweight boats lightweight kayaks lightweight canoes lightweight rafts light weight boat light weight kayak light weight canoe light weight raft light weight boats light weight kayaks light weight canoes light weight rafts light boat light kayak light canoe light raft light boats light kayaks light canoes light rafts marine binocular marine binoculars marine monocular marine monoculars ocean kayak ocean kayaks kayaks for sale kayak for sale river kayak river kayaks