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How to be Annoying

Or stupid I add. If you think some of them are not funny try doing some at work. I phoned to a friend and started doing the ooh la la thing. He began laughing before I explain.
  • Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
  • Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
  • Staple papers in the middle of the page.
  • Ask 800 operators for dates.
  • Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
  • Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
  • Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
  • Set alarms for random times.
  • Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
  • Honk and wave to strangers.
  • Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
  • Wear your pants backwards.
  • Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
  • Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
  • Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
  • Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
  • Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  • Pay for your dinner with pennies.
  • Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
  • Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
  • Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
  • Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
  • Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
  • Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
  • Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
  • Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
  • As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  • Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song. (Ya know, Lamb Chops?)
  • Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
  • Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
  • Name your dog "Dog".
  • Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
  • Ask people what gender they are.
  • Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
  • Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
  • While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  • Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
  • Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  • Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
  • Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
  • Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  • Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
  • Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
  • Sing along at the opera. (lol,lol)
  • Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
  • Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
  • Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
  • Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
  • Make appointments for the 31st of September.
  • Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
  • Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
    That's Comedy! - The Net's #1 Joke eBook


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